—So you like to travel solo?, that’s great! I bet you get to meet a lot of people!.
This is how conversations always go when I tell my friends about any recent trip that I’ve done on my own.
The answer is usually a smile, a nod and some vague phrase agreeing with them, saying that traveling solo is a great way to meet new people.
But it’s not. There, I said it.
At least not in my case. Ever since I can remember, I’ve had a difficult time interacting with other people. For some reason beyond my understanding, I find it very difficult to take a first step when I’m a new social environment and I envy all those travelers who meet new friends within the first two hours of arriving somewhere.
But truth be told, I am actually not a sociopath, I like people.
How can I be social and have problems meeting new people?
That was a question for which I didn’t have an answer until recently.
Most of the time when I’m traveling, I try really hard to avoid any event that forces me to interact in with people I don’t know or in an environment that’s unfamiliar to me. So I’ll quite often stay in my room watching local TV.
Then there’s a tiny voice in my head that goes:
—You’re a Travel Blogger, for Zeus’ sake! – (Voices in my head are mostly Pagan). — Go out and have fun! At least that way you’ll get something funny to write about. Or maybe you should shut that travel blog of yours and get a chess or knitting blog. – (Voices in my head are also sarcastic and quite frankly spiteful).
And as everybody knows, voices inside one’s heads are usually right. So I’ll shower, get dressed and search for a nearby bar; I get there, ask for a beer and then proceed to sit an watch people.
Don’t get me wrong, I love watching people, it’s one of the best things to do when you travel, something like a non-official sociological study. Usually you can get to know a lot about a place and its people by the way they party. The thing is, when I’m done with my beer, I almost always go back to the hotel after interacting with the bar staff and the bar staff alone.
I am wondering if the domain youngbutoldpeople.com is up for grabs.
On the other hand I know lots of people who travel on their own and meet people right from the moment they board the first train and don’t stop making friends until during the whole journey. And it’s not that I hate that kind of people, but I so get jealous and… I kinda hate them too!
Some may think I’m insecure, and I swear I’m not. Obviously I’ve had that moment when you’re at some club in Miami Beach, surrounded by all those perfectly sculpted bodies and I wish I hadn’t have had that second burrito with extra guacamole. But for the most part I am not an insecure guy, just don’t like to leave my comfort zone when it comes to social interaction.
Yes, I do realize I’m being complex and confusing if not downright crazy. How can I be willing to travel the world and still be afraid to meet new people?
Well, the answer came to me a few days ago after reading a very interesting article about introversion on the Huffington Post.
Basically, after crossing off 22 of the 23 signs stated on the article I was starting to see a pattern of my social skills when I travel.
I am an introvert.
So what does that mean?
Some of the traits that define introverts include a high level of self-consciousness, abstraction and reflection, attention to detail, not overly expressive aboout their feelings and tend to learn through observation. Also we tend to be a lot more comfortable around people we know and would much rather give a speech in front of 200 people than having to socialize with them on one-to-one basis.
But I’m not shy!
Introvers are not to be mistaken with shy people. In fact, I consider myself to be anything but shy.
Shyness is fear of meeting new people, which I don’t have. I enjoy the company of people, just not all the time.
So it took me 27 years to realize that I’m actually an outgoing introvert.
And there is absolutely nothing wrong about it, I am actually happy not to be a freak, or better said, I don’t care if I am one.
One of the main differences between extroverts and introverts is that extroverts get energy from social interaction, while introverts spend it. After socializing, we need time to be alone.
I do know lots of people whom I met on my travels.
And some of them are now very close friends, even when they live far away. There’s a catch though; I met most of them before I actually went traveling via Social Media sites or Couchsurfing. Knowing that we have some things in common before we actually meet made things a bit easier for me. After all, introverts own Social Media
I don’t travel to meet people.
It is a wonderful thing when it happens, but I don’t travel solo to meet new friends. On the contrary, I think of travel as a mean of introspection rather than socializing. I’m not the kind to go out at night in the search for the wildest underground raves, but I am, however, the type to find inspiration walking under the rain in London by myself or on the streets of Budapest.
I hope you can forgive me.